Silver Tsuki Hime

2005-10-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

Whee. Hi people. I haven't updated this thing in a long while. O.o Odd...

Well...enough said.

BYE!

GaiaOnline.com!

2005-09-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hm....

2005-08-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

Hm..It's been a while, ne? Well, anyway, New Anna left for Texas, AGAIN! GAH! -cries- I miss her so much...

I myself am not holding up well.

Two Poems

2005-08-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

These are two poems I've written. There are a lot more, but I'll post those another day.

SUFFERING

What we had I believe
Was never really there
You left that long time ago
You left without a care

I thought you were my friend
Apparently you're not
You just got up and left
No word was ever said

I sit here in pain
Grieving and sulking in my own shame
I'm alone for now
For what we had was never found.

I don't know where you are
And I don't know what to be
I'm alone no you see
Now I know it was never meant to be

So here I sit
Alone again
For what you did
Was a stupid sin

-----------------------------------

MY WEAKNESS

Sometimes when I care
The things that were never there
It haunts me forever
Like a never-ending scare

My weakness is that I care too much
The reason I get hurt
Is because I care so much
It hurts just like you're touch

Sometimes I want to die
but I don't like to cry
But when I let the tears come
It feels like its ok

I don't let you see
What was always meant to be
Because I'm afraid of being rejected
Like so many have done to me

So now I'll wrap this up ok
And let myself calm down
My tears come swiftly
Like a feather falling down
-------------------------------------

I know, I know, they suck. But what can I say, I like the rhyming.

Life Sucks.

2005-08-17T03:26:00.000-07:00

-sigh-

I've been thinking I should die. I would love to hear myself cry. Hm..odd. I've been feeling kind of like..a suicidal maniac who just escaped from jail and is wanted in ten different states..

Weird, yes. But I've been feeling like I should die. I really don't see what's worth living for. I don't have any friends I can see in person, I never spend any time with my dad, I've been thinking all about suicide a lot..yup..But I'm never going to attempt it because I don't want to hurt people more than I already have.

Apparently, they don't feel the same way towards me. I try to be nice to them, but what do I get in return? I get a bunch of different crap. They hit me, scream at me, throw things at me, call me names, emotionally and physically harm me. Does that sound like your own family should treat you? No, it doesn't. I always thought family was supposed to be there for you. To help you up when you're sad. To calm you down when you're mad. To just be there to be there and guide you through everything you need help with.

Apparently, I'm wrong. Because that's not how I'm treated. See? That's why I feel that there's no reason to live. What's there to live for? To me, nothing. But other people try to talk me out of my beliefs and get me to believe what they want me to. But it's not gonna work. I don't go that way. I'm sticking to what I believe in and no one else can change that. Not Akari, En, Asami, Chinatsu, Anna, or Kakina. No one can. I'm sorry to all of them, but this isn't something that I can handle.

I don't tell anyone--not even my own mother--about it because I feel as if no one will understand me. I don't know why, but that's just how I feel. It scares me at times to see how suicidal and evil I can get towards myself. Oh well. At least it helps the internal pain ease.

My heart is like it's being sqeezed to death because of all the pain gripping at it. It pains me and I don't know why! I don't know how I got this way and I don't know if I want to change or if I want to stay this way! I don't know what to do or who or what to believe anymore..I don't know why, I just don't believe naything anyone says anymore.

They're always trying to get me to like things and do things that I don't like. My parent's are constantly fighting and there's nothing I can do about it. I hardly ever see my dad, my mom is always busy, I don't even remember the last time either of us did anything together/

Take today for example. My dad and I were going to the hardware store, just him and I. mY two sister's whom I shall not say any names, they threw a FIT! Just because I got to go and they didn't! How immature and stupid is that?! They get to do things I don't get to do, they go places I don't get to go. But do I care? No, I don't. If I don't, why do they have to be all rude and mean about when I DO get to do something alone with someone? Why can't they just be happy for me and let it go?

I just don't understand them. I really, truely don't.

I really need someone here with me..I don't need to see them..I don't need to feel them..but just to know that their there.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I should live or die. I don't know who or what to believe anymore. I don't know who are my real friends and who are not. I don't know what to do anymore.

I think I'm going apathetic. I haven't been feeling any emotion except anger for the past few months. Hm..Nothing to big, I'm just curious about if I'm going apathetic without doing anything. Maybe I just don't see what's to smile and be happy about.

Wow. This is my longest post.

Someone help me..

Hey...

2005-08-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

Hey people. I pulled an all-nighter agian. Heh. What can I say? I can't sleep. I'm becoming a severe insomniac. Oh well. ^_^ My eyes are only very bloodshot..lol

Nothing really exciting. ShadowKing1000 got hacked TWICE! >< I'm in his special group of friends on Gaia to help him sneak his stuff from his old account to his new one. He even donated five hundred gold to me for my quest to get a special someone something! He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

Oh, and this Shy__guy person got hacked, too. His name was changed to 'stupidwhineybitch'. While ShadowKing1000's name was changed to 'stupidsonofabitch'

I swear if I ever find out who hacked them...

Yet Again...

2005-08-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

-sigh- Yet again, I've lost my fourth friend over a stupid arguement. I'm not mad, but this pain collides with the other pain that is gripping my heart so tight..It makes it almost unbearable.

-sigh- I guess I'll tell you this.

I made some changes to the site. New Template, new Title, new links, new pic. ^^ Hope you like it.

I'll be posting poetry on here soon I hope.

Bored...

2005-08-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hi pplz...I'm bored..I have nothing to do. I just read a nine chapter story on FanFiction.net..Yep...very boring life.

My sister broke our icey-maker today. -______-' She blamed me for not catching it. How could I?! I was cooking! But thank God only the plastic broke. We still gotta return it...-sigh-

I miss Akari. She hasn't been on much, and I'm starting to worry. I really wanna talk to her about the book we might get published..Hm..It's gonna be very exciting and too much suspense to find out of we're getting it published or not. We still have about 25 more pages of poems to write. But it's gonna be fun. ^^

....I feel lonely.

I Like Mashed Taters

2005-08-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

I likes mashed taters. ._. I like them with...er..uh..PLAIN! ^^'' Yes, yes. I've lost my sanity..er..no..well. I"m bipolar and proud. If you don't know what bipolar is, it's a personality disorder where you go from real happy, to real sad, real fast.

Ah, well. This has been fun. I must flee to talk to Shishou..

SNOOKIES!

omg..!

2005-08-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Omfg...I might get my book published!!! My friend and I have been working out butts off to make this poem book happen and we finally might get to get it PUBLISHED! I am soo excited!! It's going to be soo cool! I know what your thinking. A kid can't get a book published. Well, let me tell you something, a kid has just as much of a chance at getting a book published as anyone. So shut-it and be happy for me! ^^

Hi pplz..

2005-08-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hi...My name is Kita..if your reading this..ya must be real bored..cuz I'm a retard..^^